I had a strange dream the other night.
I had awoken about 1:00am and by the time I was settled back in bed after a trip to the bathroom (a usual, nightly occurrence)…I wasn’t actually settled.
After dealing with an upset stomach for about an hour, I fell into a deep sleep. These deep sleeps that I have are what usually follows after trying to convince my body and mind that’s it’s not time to get up, which does take a while. When I finally do fall back asleep, the dreams I have are quite vivid and always stressful.
I was in a large house with many rooms. In this house resided a large family that I couldn’t see, but I could hear all of their voices in another part of the house. Loud, boisterous, jarring. I didn’t grow up living with so many people in one space, so needless to say, this part alone was stressful.
The room that I was staying in, however, was strangely the quietest one, and my cat, Archie, was also in there with me. He seemed content with the room, having found a nice, clean spot on the floor to loaf, so I left the room to explore the house.
All I can remember from this bit of the dream was that the hallway was disgusting. Not quite as much as an episode of Hoarders, but there was quite a bit of clutter in the hallway. I had to step over newspapers and cigarette butts, half-crushed soda cans and dark stains in the old carpet. The smell was rank like burnt hair, urine, and mildew, enough to make your toes curl and initiate your gag reflex (I’m surprised the smell didn’t jolt me awake).
I came to the end of the hallway to find a dead end, and when I turned around I saw that not only was the mess and clutter gone but that every single door I had passed now had thick, dark smoke billowing out through the thresholds, obscuring the length of the hallway.
My first instinct was, of course, to run back to my room, grab Archie, and find the way out of the house. I don’t know if I had brought his carrier, but I would make sure to hold him tight until we got outside to my car (wherever that was!).
I ran down the hallway and discovered that there were more doors than I remember. I couldn’t tell which one led to my room. I took off my shirt and wrapped it around my hand so I could grab each doorknob without burning myself, but every one I tried wouldn’t budge.
I tried as hard as I could to hear Archie’s cries, but I heard nothing. I couldn’t even hear any flames crackling or pieces of the house caving into the flames. I wasn’t even choking on all of the smoke. I called out to Archie and to everyone who may still be in the house to get out of it before it finally yielded to the invisible fire, but even the voices were gone.
Suddenly, I screamed, “Archie, where are you?!”
When I did, the next doorknob I grabbed turned and I stumbled into my room. Mine was the only one not full of smoke, but I found Archie still in his loafing spot. I grabbed him and as soon as he was in my arms I was suddenly standing outside in the cold dark of night. In front of me was the house that was now overcome with flames, but oddly still standing. What’s more, there was no one else outside with me. Surely, someone else was able to get out, right?
I turned to try to locate my car and I bumped into someone in a yellow jacket (I assume a firefighter), and that’s when I woke up.
My first thought was Archie. I put my hand beside me on the bed and felt his fur. He let out a startled “mrrp?” and the quiet jingle of his bell and tag made me take my first breath out of that dream.
I am a firm believer of prophetic dreams as I have had a few over the years; however, I was still reeling from the message of this one.
It wasn’t until I looked at my Galaxy watch and saw the date. February 1.
Imbolc. A time of starting again with the renewal of the coming spring.
Brigid is a fire Goddess, one of the home hearth and of Her eternal flame.
Was this a message from Her? Is she telling me to purge something to move away to something better, even if I have to venture out into the darkness to find it? Something that will bear fruit in future harvests?
I do have a lot to purge from my life. Old habits. Past regrets. Idle comforts.
The doors in my dream locked me out until I had stated my purpose loud and clear. In the dream, the goal was to get Archie and myself out of the smoke that was obscuring our way out.
But what of the other people that were in the house? I never saw the people when I was in there before the smoke, but I could hear lots of voices. I have a small circle of friends, some that live near me, others on the other side of the pond. I can’t think of any one of them to let go (well…there is one. Give me time, though.).
Could these other people (the ones who once lived in a beautiful home that became so messy that it turned into a bonfire) have been certain facets of myself? Which parts exactly is something I will have to meditate upon tonight during my time with Brigid.
I turn 42 in March and in the last few months I have wondered what will become of my ever-changing self; however, I can’t quite see that far ahead right now.
Much like a hallway full of smoke.
This is a very late post for Imbolc.
May the Goddess bless you and your hearth, wherever you might be today.
So mote it be. ❤
Mysti Gayle 
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