Liftymandius: A modern ode to the dude at the gym that drops his weights

I met a builder in a musky gym

Who said — “Two legs of mid-age muscle

Stood at yon Mirrored Wall…none could surpass his strength.

Hath travel’d through his years, fraterniz’d with educated fellows,

Who were majored of finance, and cheery with jolly drink,

The man boasts that his prowess hath never waned;

The arms that curl, and the legs that squat;

And under the selfie on his Facebook, these words appear:

“My name is Liftymandias, King of Gyms;

Look on my Strength, ye Feeble, and despair!

I dead lift 300 with ease.” Visage strained,

Of shaking muscles, pulled and snapped,

Weights plummet, vexed looks exchanged, hubris abated,

To the showers after his solitary rep.

The lone king sulks far away.

  • Note: I am not against anyone going back to the gym in their middle or older age, but your strength is not the same as it was back in high school athletics. Be safe; get a spotter, bro.
  • 2nd note: This is not Gold’s Gym. It’s a Planet Fitness. You don’t look cool dropping weights.
  • 3rd note: My apologies to Percy Bysshe Shelley.

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