Morning Pages 4.6.23

I woke up last night (or should I say this morning) at 1:30am. After using the bathroom it took me an hour to go back to sleep. I used a sleep ‘talk-down’ meditation and it worked. Apparently, I needed an external voice to block out the ones in my head that wouldn’t shut up.

I haven’t had that happen to me in a while. I used to ply myself with melatonin pills before bed, or I would take an edible that was part CBD, part THC and part melatonin. Worked like a dream (pun intended). And do you know what was racing through my mind that wouldn’t let me sleep? I was analyzing Jordan Peele’s movie Nope. I tend to get caught up in the underlying themes of movies I enjoy, especially ones that effect me so much. I spent weeks being absolutely wrecked by The Whale.

When I finally went to sleep I had a strange dream. Someone was stalking me and it turned out to be a misshapen man that was seven feel tall and had only one eye. He finally caught me and that’s when my alarm woke me up. Funny how I dreamt that since my analysis of Nope pertained to how people try to tame predators and fail every time (that chimp in the movie stuck with me).

I paused to pull a couple of Tarot cards and see what my intuition could dig up. I used to do this a lot with dreams but took a break from it when I couldn’t remember most of them, I do remember some; typically ones like what I had after trying hard to get back to sleep.

I used the mini deck version of the Tarot of Pagan Cats (Cat Lady Supreme, here).

Photo by the author

What was my dream’s message? – The Hierophant (left card) Guidance, pathway, conformity.

What is my dream telling me to do? – The World (right card) Completion, integration, a fully achieved goal by following the road you choose.

Don’t get too comfortable, the cards say. You need to focus on finishing what you set out to do. You have goals and have made plans; now it’s time to take action to reach them. There is nothing worth doing that isn’t scary.

“If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.” – George McKeown

The stalker in my dream. Could he symbolize resistance? He controlled my dream by making me afraid until he finally caught up to me. Is he me?

Damn, I guess my intuition isn’t as shot as I thought it was.


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