Where the hell was I?

The only excuse I have for being absent from this blog is that I have gone through changes (as have all of us), both beneficial and unfavorable, enough to make one sulk and wallow in their own self-pity. Usually that’s my shining moment to write but, months ago, my love for writing had become a chore. I was working hard for the wrong reasons, pressuring myself to find something to write about. But that was the problem: I had expectations that a writer always has something to write about. So…why didn’t I? I had nothing to go on so was I still a writer? Needless to say, I threw in the proverbial towel and sank into my full-time job.

Boy, was that dull.

However, my recess from posting was not in vain. It gave me the opportunity to dust off the books stacked in random places in my apartment and finally give them a read. I have taken numerous meditative walks and have listened to a variety of audiobooks. I even got a new roommate. He’s a bit hairy and always wants my attention, but he’s good for a laugh and a cuddle on the sofa.

I gave myself permission to log off, recharge, and hell even spend several evenings in an edible-induced haze. Of course I knew that one couldn’t continue like that forever but the respite helped me clear my head (that is, after my nightly highs dissipated), and I’ve decided to just write.

I’m not going to try to search for topics. I’m going to write about anything and everything that interests me because in my journey of finding my niche, the one that every writing class tells you to find, I’ve learned that my niche is the act of sharing my knowledge, stories, and even useless trivia with anyone who’s willing to read it. And if they don’t read it, that’s okay, too. I have been hard on myself in trying to find that supposed niche that every writer is told that they need. In my arduous search I realized that I was suffocating my creativity. So if I couldn’t find my niche then why have a blog in the first place?

But I kept the blog up and I’m glad I did. I acquired new readers while I was away so that gave me some incentive to try again.

I have also learned more about intuitive writing and using my emotions instead of my logic when it comes to my art. I am currently reading Lauren Sapala and taking her Intuitive Writing course. I have just started the video series and workbook and I can tell this is going to be intense for me mentally, but I’m more than excited to tap into what’s in my head.

As any INF personality type will tell you (I’m an INFJ), we’re usually the quiet type. We’re the George Harrisons of writing. But even Harrison wrote wonderful songs that told stories.

I have stories, too. From my childhood to university to what’s happening to me every day right now. And I want to share those stories.

Is this a rebranding of my blog? I don’t want to call it that. I will still post my short horror stories and poems if they happen to come to me, but my blog will be a place where I can share what piques my interest.

In sum: I will be posting normally now, about twice a week. Due to certain changes (the beneficial kind), I will have more time to devote to my writing.

Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this blog and welcome to everyone new!

“Stories may well be lies, but they are good lies that say true things, and which can sometimes pay the rent.”― Neil Gaiman

*Author’s note: I am not being paid by nor am I being endorsed by Lauren Sapala. She is a writer and writing coach that I admire and is a fellow INFJ. If you’re an intuitive writer, please read her book The INFJ Writer. There were so many “ah-ha!” moments for me that I swear she was reading my mind!*


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